Tuesday, April 05, 2005 9:44 AM

Hi, this is from Brittany about her trip to Iowa to the Deaf Special Mtg.

This is an account of my experience this past weekend at the Deaf Special Meetings in Forest City, Iowa. I went with Christine O'Horo (a deaf woman who professed last year at Milford Convention). We left Boston airport at 11:00 on Friday morning (March 25th) flew to Minneapolis/St.Paul airport.  We had 45 minutes to walk from one end of the airport to the furthest point. You could go on the other side of the airport (to catch our connecting flight) and when we arrived they told us if we had been two minutes later, the door would have been shut. That normally would not have been too big of a problem, but on average, three flights go to Mason City (our destination), that could have been tricky.  Anyway, we made it and arrived in Mason City where Shawn Peck picked us up. We stayed at his parents home (Greg and Barb Peck)  He drove through (he lives in Chicago) and he picked us up.  It was about a half hour to his parents' home from the airport.  Two workers, Jennifer Brown and Sandra (I don't remember her last name) were there. Later in the evening, Summer Stoneburger (PA) and Sonny Rice (MI) arrived. Summer and Sonny interpret in meeting for the Lambeth's (a deaf couple and their girl) in Michigan so they came down for the weekend as well.  On Saturday they had a silent special meeting.  About 60 people there.  Around 10-15 Deaf people.  Most of the workers there know sign language, and the workers that had moved to other fields that had been there before ,all came back.  The workers gave their testimonies in sign language and it was a normal special meeting, except for the fact that everyone was signing and there was no voice.  It is quite different to pay attention to. It is hard to take notes, because you don't want to miss anything ,and after a day of that your eyes are hurting!  The deaf folk's testimonies were wonderful. They were so thankful that the workers were taking an interest in their lives, and that God was so wonderful, and not a respecter of persons, or of a language, or means of communication.  The deaf did not care if the person speaking knew sign language good or not ,but it was all about the attitude, and if they were willing to try.  We had two meetings and then afterwards, pizza was ordered in, and we had dinner there too. Then all the deaf people went back to someone's hotel and got to know each other better.  We heard from the platform about a verse in Proverbs that talks about the lazy man staying in the house when he hears the lions roar outside the house.  We heard about Daniel not letting the lion's roar get in the way of his prayers, and David did not allow the lion to get in the way of his tending to the sheep, and Samson didn't want the lion's roar to scare him from the way he was going.  We heard about tending to the things that could hinder us from our service and not being lazy and allowing them to become excuses as to why we don't serve the Lord.

On Sunday, someone said they were expecting around 200, but never heard anything afterwards.  On Sunday it was in sign and voiced at the same time.  The workers signed and spoke so it was a little choppier than on Saturday, but it worked well.  I had the privilege (though it didn't seem like a privilege at the time) to voice interpret for the deaf people for both meetings on Sunday.  This was the first time for me to interpret in front of such a large crowd in a microphone, so that was an interesting experience. The workers all thanked me afterwards for doing it, and Greg Peck (who normally does it) I think was glad to have a break this year.  He has been doing it for almost 30 years!!!   Sunday there was a Deaf-Blind man there. I had met him before when he was attending Gallaudet in Washington DC.  He is married and has three boys.  One is four and the twins are around a year old.  His wife is an amazing woman to take care of everything!  So, we had to have someone interpret for him into his hand and then he gave his testimony as well. He spoke about the saraphim angels in Proverbs 6.  Even though they had six wings, they didn't use their wings in the same way other angels did.  Many people look at him and pity him.  But, they shouldn't, because he has three senses left and they are very acute. The angels used what they had in the way God had planned and he wanted to use what he had in the way God had planned for him .  I thought that was very nice.  When you talk to him he is so intelligent, makes you wonder how it is possible to learn without vision or hearing.   Pretty amazing.

We heard from the platform about the members of the body working together.  When one hand has a hammer and accidentally hits the thumb on the other hand, the hurting hand doesn't grab the hammer and wack the other hand back. The hand with the hammer, instead puts the hammer down and does what it can to relieve the pain of the hurting hand. Also, if one hand has some food it can't get nourishment from it by holding onto it, but it must share the food with the ENTIRE body for it to be beneficial to the hand.

Directly after meeting we left to go to the airport and Shawn was heading back to Chicago at the same time so he dropped us off. Got back to Boston around 10:30pm Sunday night. A wonderful experience. Everything was so simple and easy to understand and remember. It was amazing talking to Christine on the way home about what she was expecting and what she learned. Everyone had a wonderful spirit.  It's not something I will soon forget. Here is a list of workers who spoke. There were more workers there but this is the list of names I was given of speakers:

Lyle Schober, Shari Stamps, Chris Postma ,Dirk Henry, (nephew of Dan) Heidi Peck, (daughter of the people I stayed with) Loren Quick, Eunice Ladwig, Diane Harper, Dena Keever, Dean Dykstra, Jeff Thayer, Titus Lehman, Anita Forsberg, Kelly Holt, (originally from NH) Jennifer Brown, Tim Vaughan, Jennifer Bartels, Dale Wipf and Lynae Dykstr.a

Sorry it's so long, but there was so much to tell I didn't want to leave anything out!

Love, Brittany

These letters brought tears to my eyes and a greater hope in my  heart...thought you might like to read them if you hadn't already

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Subject: Two Remarkable Letters from Prison Inmates...

Dear Barbara Lee,

Needless to say, you don't know me. If it'll make you feel any better, I

also have no earthly idea who you are.  In any event, I hope you're well

and in the best of spirits.  Aside from the fact that I have nothing else

to do, I can't say for certain what possessed me to write this letter.  I'm

sure you've taken note that I am in prison, so you can probably imagine

that boredom is a major motive for much that I do. That being said, I

must confess that it feels comforting to reach beyond these walls and (hopefully) make someone out there aware that I exist.  I didn't intend for that to sound pathetic; I was simply making a statement. I've been in prison for eighteen years, the last seven in solitary confinement, and I've not communicated with anyone except my mother for a very long time. To be honest, I feel as if I've been frozen in time and the rest of the world is passing me by.  I try to stay abreast of politics and current affairs, but it serves little

purpose, when the few people to whom I can speak are interested in

nothing beyond finding ways to have cigarettes and drugs smuggled

in to them.  So, in its own way, I guess this letter is a modern-day message in a bottle.

Why you? That's a good question.  And I'm tempted to say that fate played a role in it, but I don't think I believe in such things as fate any more. Actually, I was transferred to this place (Holman prison) a little over a week ago.  When I was assigned to a cell, there was a Bible in it that someone had left.  Ordinarily I would have given it away, but I had nothing else to read, so I decided to hold on to it.  A couple of nights later I was lying here and staring at the nightlight above my bed, unable to sleep, so I figured I'd read until I became drowsy. That didn't work out too well, because I ended up reading all of Genesis, which is when I came upon your name and address, written in the blank space at the end of chapter 50.  There was nothing else written in the Bible, so I don't know whom it belonged to . My neighbor tells me that the guy who was in this cell before me was named Randall Hines. I don't know him, and I doubt that he would appreciate my writing this letter, but he should be more responsible than to leave names and addresses lying around. Then again, there's really no telling who wrote your name in this Bible, or when they did it, which is why I'm having no pangs of conscience about writing to you.  For all I know, you may not even be the person who lives at this address!  But that doesn't matter.  What matters is that I can spend a little time believing that I'm talking to someone who actually cares

about what I have to say.  And, because a small part of me still believes

in miracles.  I'm going to be bold enough to mail this letter and hope that I'll get an answer to it!  So, Barbara Lee, do you believe in miracles? More to the point, do you believe that a person, even in the face of hopelessness, can continually strive toward the good and the right, only for the sake of doing so?  I've found myself in that situation during the past several years, yet I don't understand why. One day I was drinking and taking drugs (trust me, those things are easy to do, even in prison) and staying in trouble, then,

almost overnight, I started focusing on trying to improve my life and being better toward other people.  But, I'm serving life without the possibility of parole, so its not as if a positive attitude is going to help gain my freedom. To say that I'm perplexed by this abrupt change in my disposition would be like saying that your governor is in pretty good physical condition!

Does this mean that people really are basically good?   And if that's so,

why do so many people in the world do bad things to one another? Barbara

Lee, I watched two people die very horrible deaths.  I'm in prison because

I took part in their robbery and kidnapping.  But, I didn't know that they

were going to be killed, and I didn't know how to stop it. That's why I spent the first eleven years of my incarceration in a haze of drugs and alcohol. I was only eighteen when it all happened, but that doesn't lessen my responsibility, and now I have this really strong desire to atone for what I did. Maybe that's why I've taken this new path in my life which begs the question:  Am I trying to be good for selfish reasons?

And, even so, does the intent behind an action make the action itself

less than what it would otherwise be? My sister once told me that I think

too muchj.  At times like this I can almost understand what she meant!

Well, Ms Lee, I suppose I should do the considerate thing and stop taking up your time. I really don't expect you to understand this, but I've

truly enjoyed sitting here for a few minutes and pretending that you were

a friend.  In fact, I'm thinking of keeping a diary and beginning each entry with "Dear Barbara Lee"  At any rate, take good care of yourself.

And if you get the chance, go out some night and just look up at the

stars - there are those of us for whom such a simple thing is only a dream.

Best wishes,

Robert

Barbara Lee

June 4, 2004

Dear Robert,

Yes, I DO believe in miracles and I want to thank you for your courage in

sending your message in a bottle.  I have pondered over your letter, shed

some tears, and looked at the night sky for you too.  I feel a great lack

in knowing how to respond, but I know I must.  I have no idea how my name got inside the Bible, but I do know that MY bible is very precious to me and maybe I can encourage you to keep reading.  Yours can become precious too because the answers to your questions are there.

We belong to a Christian fellowship that believes in the leading of the

Holy Spirit. The Bible is our only textbook and Jesus our guide.  It is a

simple way,  we meet in homes, and our workers (ministers) live amongst

us with no home, income, or family of their own. Robert, I would love to

tell you more about what we have, because it is my life and it seems to be

the only reason I can come up with as to why you are writing to ME,  a

total stranger whose name was in a Bible, rather than finding a name off

of the internet or something.  I find it interesting too that just this week I met a worker (Robert Eberhardt) who is FROM Alabama.  He is laboring in Wisconsin right now, and is in contact with a prisoner there who had an 87 year sentence.  This man doesn't have much hope in this life, but HAS found hope beyond the grave.  So Robert, I have some options for you.  Robert Eberhardt, our Wisconsin worker, said that he would like to correspond with you, and maybe get you in contact with our friend in the prison there, or if you would prefer, you could get in touch with the workers in Alabama. 

I will write to both letting them know of your existence.  We are well and in the best of spirits.  I hope we have helped bring a smile to your face and hope to your heart.

Best wishes,

Barbara Lee

June 12, 2004

Dear Barbara,

For someone who felt a great lack in knowing how to respond, you

certainly did a fine job; your letter was the first reason I've had to smile in weeks!  I don't think I could ever make you understand how deeply touched I am by the kind and caring things you wrote.  Thank you, Barbara, and God bless you for not tossing my message in a bottle back into the ocean.

You mentioned wondering at the reason I wrote to you rather than finding a name off of the internet or something.  Well, the short answer to that is, I don't have any access to the internet.  My Mom doesn't own a computer, yet she's the only one who ever does anything for me.  My sister writes to me maybe three or four times a year (mostly, I think, out of a sense of obligation), so I don't even bother asking her to do anything.

I've had a few guys in here try and fix me up with someone to write to;

but I finally learned that there was always some ulterior motive for it,

so I stay away from situations like that.  In the end, your address, and

the way in which it came to me, seemed to be the best chance I would ever

have to write to someone without there being any strings attached.  And,

I'll be honest with you Barbara; I didn't think there was much chance that

I would hear back from you, which makes your response all the more

special.  Oh, and I need to let you know, it would not be a good idea for

me to be in contact with anyone in another prison. There's a rule against

such correspondences here in Alabama (and most other states, to the best

of my knowledge), and I would rather avoid the consequences for violating

a regulation like that.  I don't think I mentioned it in my first letter, but I've been locked up in a one man segregation cell for seven years and four days (as of today), and I have a chance of getting out to the general population by September if I can stay out of trouble.  All the same, I do appreciate the offer.  And while I'm referring to the prisoner in Wisconsin, let me share my perspective with you. That man probably doesn't know how lucky he is to

have only an 87 year sentence. It goes back to the old adage "you don't

know what you've got until its gone".  He has a parole date; and, with a

little help on the outside, it can be cut.  I'd give almost anything to be in his position!  Barbara, I am serving four life sentences with no possibility of parole. T his is my first time in prison and, one way or the other, it will be my last, and I've been locked up since I was eighteen years old.  I was basically forced to plead guilty to capital murder, just to avoid the death penalty, even though I did not actually kill anyone. I went along with a robbery scheme that was concocted by a guy whom I had known for less than three months, and he ended up killing the couple wed robbed, because they had forbidden their daughter to date him.  Anyway, according to the law, I'm as guilty of their murders as if I had pulled the triggers myself, even though I had no intent to hurt anyone, and despite the fact that I had no knowledge that anyone would be hurt or killed.  So, whenever that man in Wisconsin feels that he doesn't have much hope in this life, he should realize that his dark cloud has a lot more silver lining than he may be aware of.  As for Robert, Eberhardt and Julie Harthorn, please advise them both that I will write soon. I'll have to first ask my Mom to send me a book of stamps, because I don't usually keep any on hand; I'll ask one of my neighbors for one, when I need to, but I don't want to make a habit of it.  So, it may not be until the end of this month, but I will write.  Maybe by then you will have had a chance to tell them; if not, Robert already knows who I am, and I'll briefly explain everything to Julie.  I don't know what I said that made you feel you could trust me enough to put me in contact with your friends, but I'm truly grateful for your confidence in my character and I won't disappoint you.

Well, you offered to tell me more about the fellowship group that you

belong to, so I suppose it would be all right to tell you more about me.  I'll be thirty-seven on November 21st; my Mom turned sixty-one on June 8th; my sister was thirty two on April 9th (her little boy will be four on October 26th); and my brother whom I have neither seen nor heard from in several years was twenty six on February 5th. T hat pretty much sums up my family. My dad died five years ago; my step-dad died about a year ago; all my grandparents are dead; and I think all my cousins, aunts, and uncles may have fallen off the face of the earth.  I was married on June 21, 1985, but signed the divorce papers the day after I was sentenced; her name was Renae, and I still miss her, but haven't tried to contact her, that would be pointless and painful.  And, of course, all my old friends are no longer anything but faded photos in a forgotten scrapbook, which leads me to believe that absence can only make the heart grow fonder for so long, and then the fondness turns to numbness.  At any rate, when all is said and done, my Mom is all I have in this world, and the love she and I share is the only real love I've ever known.

I have to say that I had a pretty nice childhood, despite the fact that

my dad was a deaf-mute diesel mechanic with only a fourth-grade

education. We were pretty limited as to the things we could do together

as father and son, but he taught me how to fish, ride a motorcycle, and

rebuild a car engine. The man really got dealt a lousy hand in life, yet

he worked himself nearly to death to make sure we had a decent roof over

our heads, shoes on our feet, and plenty of food on our table. I never

even knew that we were actually poor until I quit school in the tenth

grade and went to work on a sod and turf farm. Boy! Was than an

eye-opener!  Shortly after I married, some relatives talked me into joining the Navy.  My parents had to sign the consent papers, as I was only seventeen, and by November 1985 I was off to Chicago for boot camp.  It was while there that I called home one night and my wife started crying and told me that my parents were separated and filing for divorce.  I wanted to go home right then, but I didn't want to go AWOL and get in trouble; so I lied to a legal officer and claimed that I'd lied about my prior drug use at the time of my enlistment.  It was that easy.   I was given a general discharge, but only because I had not yet completed basic training, and sent home.  My dad and wife picked me up at the Greyhound station in Anniston at 9.45 on the morning of January 1, 1986,  and that's when life went all the way down hill.

Sure enough, the separation was firm; I attempted to get them back

together but Mom showed up for the meeting in a new car and my dad acted

like an idiot about it.  When the dust settled, I was left standing in a parking lot and had to walk back to my dads house.  We fought about it and then settled down to figure a way out of the mess my dad was in. You see, when Mom left, she didn't take anything but my brother and sister and the clothes they all had on; dad kept the house, the car, and all the bills. The problem was then by then my dad was receiving social security disability benefits, and a large part of his income consisted of checks for my Mom, brother, and sister.  When Mom left, she had her check cancelled and had my brothers and sisters sent to their new address. The result was that my dad was stuck with monthly bills of around $800.00 and a monthly check for less than $500.00. Not even Einstein could make that balance out! 

I got my job back at the sod farm and did what I could to keep things

going, but I also had a wife who was a senior in high school and I had

promised her mother (as a condition for her permission for us to marry)

that Renae would graduate. I couldn't think straight, Barbara. I'm not

implying that my state of mind excuses my actions, but a drowning man

will reach out even for the blade of a sword: William Glenn Boyd held out

that blade to me, when he proposed a plan that would solve all my

problems. Half my life later, here I am crying on your shoulder. I'm not

a bad person, Barbara. I've had to hurt a few people in here over the

years, but it was only because they left me no choice. I live in a world

filled mostly with cowardly predators, and any sign of weakness is like

the sight of a dying animal to a flock of vultures; unfortunately, most

prisoners are not very bright, and my kindness has often been mistaken

for weakness. But other than those times when my back is forced into a

corner, I will literally not harm a mouse for no reason.

Do I deserve to be in prison?  Absolutely.   I did something utterly wrong

and stupid, and now I'm suffering the consequences of my actions.   I

personally don't think I should spend the rest of my life in here, but,

then, I guess you could say I'm somewhat biased about the situation.   But,

seriously, I do think I deserve a second chance at some sort of life

other than that of a wild animal, especially when I look around and see

people who've had third, fourth, and even fifth chances!  Oh, let me quit

whining, for Pete's sake.

Did I mention that I can draw? I know I haven't said anything about it in

this letter; I'm not sure about the other one.  None the less, I can.  At

the moment I'm not allowed to have much in the way of drawing materials,

so its really frustrating to try and do any work, but I'll see if I can find a little something nice to do and send in my next letter. I can't wait to get out in general population and find some colored pencils or some paint supplies! This place has some of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen. The skies stay full of these huge, puffy clouds that look like clumps of snow slowly drifting across the surface of a frozen blue lake.  Late in the evening I can look out my window to the left and almost see the sun, its rays shine through gaps in the clouds, reminding me of the beams from a projector in a theater, except that these beams are moving in super-slow motion, and the movie I watch every evening is called "The Passage of Time".  Some days I can see a line of clouds on the horizon that are lit in such a way that their undersides are a reddish mauve and their tops are brilliant white, and they look exactly like those distant snow-capped mountains you see in many pictures of Japan.  If I could just capture the essence of one of these sunsets, I'd consider myself a successful artist.

I want to confess something to you Barbara.  Until about five years ago I

thought I was an atheist; I say thought because I came to realize that I

was parroting the inane arguments of others, rather than voicing my own

well-thought-out beliefs. Then I met a young lady named Deborah Wade in

September 1999, and we corresponded for about four months (it was one of

those fix me up deals that I mentioned earlier). The subject of religion

came up early in our writings; and I hate to admit it, but she took me

behind the intellectual woodshed! I mean I fired everything I had at her

and she brushed it aside like it was a bunch of dust bunnies. We ended up

falling out over something that had nothing to do with our religious

debates, but the things she said caused me many sleepless nights. I

started examining all my facts and logic comparing them to reality, and

found some HUGE flaws in that nincompoop notion that the universe was not created by a living, intelligent God.  It was that change in my conviction

which caused me to really appreciate things like clouds and sunsets and

art. Now I can talk for hours about the mechanics of little things in everyday life that people tend to take for granted but which could not have come about through trial and error or random chance. Random chance.

Do you know what that is? That's the phrase we use to describe events for which we have no explanation.  But can you think of anything in this

universe which happens because of nothing?  I can't. And if everything

happens because something made it happen, then everything happens for a

reason, whether we can explain it or not. Reason precludes randomness,

because randomness is, by definition, without reason.  And, my point is

this: There is a reason I'm writing this letter, just as there is a reason you are reading it; neither of us knows the exact reason for what were doing, but that doesn't negate the fact of the reason itself.  There was a reason  someone wrote your name in this Bible; there was a reason they left it in this cell; there was a reason I decided to read it and came across your address. If we traced all these actions and reasons back far enough, would we not ultimately reach that point when God said, "Let there be light?"

To understand what I just said is to see that everything is because of

Gods will, even the things we may not like too much. I believe that

underscores what Irving Berlin once said : "life is ten percent what you

make it and ninety percent how you take it".  He certainly seems to have

gotten the proportions right.  I spend at least ten percent of my day looking for something positive about in the other ninety percent!  Oh, go ahead, smile!  Sure, I'm a serious person, and I know my predicament is serious, but I can't always be despondent and grumpy about it; life is too short to waste it on being blue all the time.  I'm curious, Barbara, do you have any hobbies? You write as though you're very educated, so I wonder whether you enjoy crossword puzzles or things of that nature.  And, I may be wrong, but there's something about your letter that makes me think you probably like reading poetry and listening to Classical music.  How far off the mark am I?

I also noted that you said you looked at the night sky for me. Evidently

you understand why something like that means so much. Can you see many

stars from where you are? These rotten perimeter lights around these

prisons are so bright, they make the night sky totally black. I had a cell at St. Clair where I could follow all the cycles of the moon, and I made a game out of trying to predict where it would be at particular times on certain nights, but I haven't seen any stars in years.  If I ever see one again, I think I'll make a wish for old times sake. Who knows? I may just be due for one of those little miracles :-)

Well, Barbara, I suppose I've monopolized enough of your time for one

letter, and I apologize if all my rambling has left you confused. All the

same, I'm grateful to you for this chance to share some of my thoughts,

its a privilege I've not had in a long time.

Take good care Best wishes always,

Robert.

I DONT KNOW IF YOU HAVE SEEN THIS LETTER - WRITTEN TO DALTON'S PARENTS BY COREY STEWART - IT IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND VERY INSPIRING.

Dearest George and Betty,

Good afternoon. How are you today? I'm doing pretty good. Thank you so much for your wonderful letter, your testimonies and the "map" where

convs are held J.  It was wonderful to hear from you again! :-) .  I will share my testimony in this letter.  But, 1st I'll tell you how my day goes from start to finish.  It's the same everyday!  I get out of bed at  4.30 a.m. every morning. (its the quietest time of the day!)  I pray, meditate, have a study and sing a hymn or two. I then go to breakfast at 6, come back and write a letter. If I have time, I'll sing hymns, before I go to work, at 7.50.  I return from work at 11 AM and go eat lunch at 11.10.  Afterwards, I read a study, pray and then write a letter.   If I have time, I'll sing some hymns, before I go back to work, at 1 PM. I'm finished with work at 3pm.  I'll take my shower, then come back to my cell.

I'll do laundry (every other day) and sing hymns until 3.50 or so. Supper

tea for you J) is at 4.10 pm.  Afterwards, I'll read my study, pray and then we have standing count at 5pm. Mail is brought around afterwards.  After I'm done reading my mail, I write letters, sometimes I'll also look at my pictures of friends and family or any other things that fill my time. I get a magazine that has pics. from the Country that I like looking at J.  Sometimes I just like to just sit here and think!  I try to go to bed about 8:30 Pm (Its later if I get a visit at night. Visits are over at 9PM  it takes me about an hour to wind down :-) ) I

have my last study and prayer of the day before bed. So there you have

it! :-)  I'm allowed 4 visits a week.  The Siss usually come Tues.afternoon from 1-4 Pm. Bruce, Geralyn, Ryan and Holly Baseman usually come Mon. evening from 6.30  9PM.  Geralyn tries to come a Weds or Thurs Afternoon too and if my Mom is here, she'll stay for 3-4 visit periods in a row like  Mon. afternoon, evening and Tues afternoon.

Now for my testimony.  I'll first begin to tell you that my parents Jerry

and Jane Anderson, Siss Dawn and Amy and Bro. ??, are my adoptive family.  I was adopted after I was in prison.  Although the legality of my adoption is not yet complete, we are hoping for it to be, soon!  I'm sure you'll

agree with me that the law or a piece of paper doesn't tell me who my

family is, but my heart!  I grew up with my Bro and Siss. B?? was 4 yrs

ahead of me in school.  Dawn and I were in the same class and graduated

together in 95, and Amy was 2 yrs behind me.  So, I've known them all my

life!  My Mom has loved me ever since I was about 3 yrs old because of all

the abuse that she was hearing(?) I'm sure you'll understand that I do

not share my childhood.  It's too much pain and sorrow, and I do not wish to

recollect it!  Even tho I can't forget my 1st 19 yrs, I wish I could! I do thank God for those years, because it has brought me to where I am today and maybe I can help someone who has gone thru the same or similar experiences!  I committed my Crime and was arrested Aug 1st 1996.  I was suicidal all my teenage years and I wanted to die that day.  But, I couldn't kill myself, because I felt, I KNEW, 'Id go to hell! So, I tried to get law enforcement officers to kill me, thinking I'd have a chance in going to Heaven, maybe "Squeak thru!"  I was convicted of 2 counts of attempted Homicide, Armed Robbery, 2 Counts of reckless endangerment and fleeing an officer, on April of 1997.  No one was hurt.  I was sentenced to 86 years, with 2 years running concurrent (so really 88 yrs) on June 16th  1997. I was sent to prison on the 23rd.

Now, I need to back up. After my arrest, and after 3 days in Solitary

Confinement, I threw up my hands and cried out to God "If you're really

there, PLEASE help me turn my life around. I cannot continue to live like

this!!!" He heard my prayer! I often think of Ps 40:1-3. Dawn wrote me a

letter in Oct., 2 months after my arrest. She told me in her letter "The

Cory Stewart who did that crime, is not the Cory Stewart that I know". To

this day I do not know what she seen in me, that no one else seen! NO ONE

would've said that!  People of my town and surrounding towns, weren't

surprised that I did what I did! My only conclusion is Dawn was looking

beyond my flesh and seeing and loving my soul! That was the 1st time in

my life I ever felt loved!  Just from those few simple words!   I Cried & cried & Cried!!!  So, Dawn and I continued to correspond. She came to visit me for the 1st time in Nov. 97 and again 2 weeks later in Dec.  My Mom 1st came, July of 98.  She would read my letters that I was writing to Dawn. When Dawn left and moved to Carolina, I began to correspond with my Mom. Anyways, she would see things in my letter, that showed her there was something "there". (I had begun to read the Bible in the County Jail).  So, at Conv. in Sept. she asked Gwen ??  if she and Anita Byles would come visit me. Dec. of 98 I had my 1st visit with Gwen J. (Anita wasn't able to get on my list for a few more wks) When I sat a crossed from both of them, I could feel the love they had, for God, his people, way, the work for lost souls radiate from them!!!  I've looked for that kind of love All my life, but in all the wrong places! I wanted that, I NEEDED what they had!! 3 months later I professed, March of 1999 :-) . I have continued to grow and mature spiritually ever since. God has begun a beautiful work in my life and I want to keep soft and submitted into his loving hands, that he can finish what he has begun! I love God, his way

and his people SO much! It is a beautiful family and a beautiful way of

life. I will do whatever I need to keep it and to obtain the Eternal promises God has made, for those who endure til the end!!

I guess I can share the rest of it with you, seeing most everybody

already knows. God spoke to me about the Harvest Field, Aug of 99, &

asked me to give my life to helping save souls.  I know virtually nothing

about the work, but I could not say NO to God, after all he's done for

me!  So I vowed my life to the work!  The next 2 yrs I asked God about 6

different times if he really wanted me for the work. After all I was in

prison with an 86 yr sentence!  Each time I was reassured with a Yes! So,

June of 2001, I made my offer known to Charles Thain and George Peterson,

the WI. Overseer & OK Overseer (I was in OK at that time) Yes, I have 86

years, but really, I only have ONE day!  This life is just ONE day at a time. yesterday is gone and tomorrow has not yet been made. The things

that are impossible with Man, are not impossible with God! Peter was

delivered from prison twice! God is a Miracle worker and miracles still

happen today!  1 Thess 5:24 "Faithful is He that calleth you, who also

will do it". When God makes promises, they are forever! God does NOT fall

short of his promises! So, I'm living one day at a time, loving the place

God has given me here in prison, being the little light and example I CAN

be! There are redeemable Souls in here too! Gods timing is perfect & when

its time, Ill get out of prison.

Did I tell you in my last letter that my good friend & old cellmate, Ron

Cherek (?) professed, recently?! :-) :-) I was soooooo happy to read of

it in his letter!!  I knew he would make it!!  Well, Thanksgiving Day is Nov 27th for us in the US :-) . Its my favorite Holiday. I love all the good food especially, Pumpkin Pie! (Here Cory has  drawn a smiley face with its tongue hanging out!)

Mon. evening

Bruce, Geralyn, Ryan and Holly Baseman, came to visit :-) . I love being

with them! Tues. afternoon Margaret Skillbred (?) & Cheryl Lilley, came

to visit. We had a wonderful visit and study in Is. 10 & 11! Thurs. afternoon Geralyn B surprised me :-) . I really appreciate her changing around her schedule to come visit me! I read Rev.22 after lunch. I don't understand a lot of this book but every time I read it, the more beautiful the pic. Of Heaven I get! People are afraid to read this book because of the plagues etc& but Gods people don't have to fear those plagues, or Hell, because we are focused on & living for, the promises of an Eternal life! That brings peace & Happiness to our hearts! We will not face a wrathful God but a gentle and merciful God! We read "Behold, I come quickly &" At best, our lives will continue 100 yrs. At its worst it could end today! We have been forewarned and given the opportunity to be prepared. Its ONE day at a time. We want to be ready TODAY!  If tomorrow comes, we can count it a blessing. It'll be one more day, we can become more Christ-like, lay up more treasure in Heaven and be a light & example to this perishing world, in hopes to win, at least one more soul to Christ!

All for Now. I hope this finds you well, encouraged in the Lord & always

Smiling! :-) Take care. Please tell Dalton "HELLO" for me :-) . You, 3,are in my daily prayers.

With love in Christ, Cory.

From: John B Milford, 806-352-3471

Just wanted to share with you our visit with Cory Stewart in prison this

past Saturday in Oklahoma. I have been corresponding with him the last 2

years. So it was just great to finally meet him. Perhaps you know some of

his story, but Ill just kind of briefly outline it. Cory had started drinking when he was 9 years old. (you can imagine that his family life was awful). When he was 19 or 20 he tried to end his life.  In the attempt to end his own life he was very drunk and shot at some squad cars, which resulted in a police chase. He didn't kill anyone or hurt anyone, but they gave him 86 years in jail. He said he understands why he got the sentence . He heard about the Truth after he was in prison when a professing girl he had gone to school with (in Wisconsin) got in touch with him by letter. He is 25 years old now. To me the most amazing thing about him is that obviously God has been working with him and has given him of His Spirit. Prison is quite an unusual place to have such wonderful fellowship, but Kevin and I did experience it. It was quite  humbling for me to realize that SO much I have taken for granted and been

lax in. When we left I couldn't help but think as Paul said "Thanks be

for God for His unspeakable gift". I am thankful to God for experiences

that make us love the new creature more and more. The "old man" doesn't

seem so appealing or attractive anymore. Long to see further than the moment. Just wanted to share the following poem with you that Cory wrote that is quite something to me. Hope all is well with you. Yours, John

PRISON, A PLACE TO LOVE

By Cory Stewart, 12/10/01

Sometimes its hard for me to love my place

I hear swearing, see fighting and just want to hide my face!

A place Life has given me, a desert land,

But my reassurance is, My life is in Gods right hand!

His strength is my source; it'll keep me through the day

While at the same time I can be a light, and shine in this perfect way!

I need to be that example for Gods work to do

I'm the only one professing here, but maybe there will be 2?!

I need to love the soul, and look beyond the flesh

To give this person a chance to start his life afresh!

How can I shy away, when there are many souls that are lost?

I take a beating daily, but never do I count the cost!

I do it for the name of Christ; I do it out of love.